‘Get thee behind me, Carl!’ – The ToYouBible App


PRODUCT REVIEW: I don’t quite know how the public will respond to the ToYouBible app, but I’m guessing it will get real scary, real quick. Did no one think this through?

The app, devised I’m sure with good intentions by Pastor Gregory Ijiwola of The CityLight Church in Chicago, is supposed to be a “personalized Bible app for daily reading, meditations and Bible study.”

toyoubible_app300It automatically “personalizes” a scripture verse. For instance, if your name is “Susan,” the familiar verse John 3:16 would read like this: ”For God so loved Susan, that he gave his one and only Son, that Susan believing in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”

This is an intriguing idea, but the Bible isn’t all balloons and pink confetti. I hope everybody takes a sedative before they start reading passages like these on the app:

“Bob, from the sole of your foot even unto your head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores.” (Isaiah 1:6)

“Susan, when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood.” (Isaiah 1:15)

There is a context to these Bible verses, and when you forget that, you can wander off into some deep mud.

“And God blessed Steve, and God said unto Steve, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. …” (Genesis 1:28). Who knows where that could lead.

I’m sure many people will be blessed by the app, but Pastor Gregory Ijiwola may decide to pull it from the app store if something like this pops up:

“And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us, Pastor Gregory? The Lord shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned Pastor Gregory with stones, and burned Pastor Gregory with fire, after they had stoned him with stones.” (Joshua 7:25)

About Skippy R

Skippy R is retired after toiling as a scribe for a large denominational newspaper in Texas for about 40 years. He's written for The Wittenburg Door and Beliefnet. He lives in Dallas with his wife, Mrs. Skippy, and leads a Bible study in his home. Mostly spends time running after his grandkids. He is -- what are they calling it now? -- a Jesus follower.
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4 Responses to ‘Get thee behind me, Carl!’ – The ToYouBible App

  1. Gus Mujica says:

    Great stuff.

  2. Gregory Ijiwola says:

    Hi, I am the creator of the app. Thank you for reviewing the app. The app does not work as you describe though. There are certain scriptures that are applicable to New Testament believers and many are not. These are the scriptures that it personalizes. It does not personalize most of the ones you quote. The personalization algorithm was painstakingly done using sound hermeunitical principles and considering context and applicability. I encourage you to get the app ToYouBible.com then you would be able to give a more accurate review. It is never good to review something we’ve never used ourselves. That is unfair. Thank you so much. Please don’t hesitate to write me at the email for any question you have about the app.

    • Skippy R says:

      Pastor Gregory, as you can see, this is a humor site. I have actually never laid eyes on your app, and I’m sure it’s a wonderful blessing to thousands out there. Hope you can laugh at yourself a little bit, is all. Blessings!

Comments are closed.