Blind Folly

Editor’s Note: Gov. Perry is our guest devotional writer.
“For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil.” — Proverbs 5:3

Prayer Time With Perry

It’s a sad day when politics stoops to wrestling in the mud of scandal. Hustler publisher Larry Flynt is offering $1 million for proof of sexual improprieties by me. Honestly, I can’t pronounce and never even heard of some of the suggestions he’s making. I guarantee I never got zoophilic with any hermaphroditess or other strange woman. I’m tempted to go give him a big wet kiss and then collect the money myself for my campaign fund. If only Jerry Falwell were still alive, he could intercede for me. He and Larry had some kind of “special relationship” as I recall. I do confess I was once aroused by a photo of Sarah Palin in a swimsuit competition, but I’ve searched my conscience and there’s nothing more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gbssGcA7v0

A treat for the High Holy Days: Gov. Rick Perry (Our guest devotional writer) dancing with Rabbis on the first day of Hanukkah back in 2010. As calculated  the percentage of the total number of points awarded to all contestants that evening — including public voting via a toll-free number– gave the governor 20/200 or only 10 %.  A subsequent  “dance-off” with Rabbi Metzger was inconclusive.

Editor’s Note: Gov. Perry is our guest devotional writer.
These are grave times. Possibly even the End Times (See  Rev. 16:18– “And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such
as was not since men were upon the earth”).

Prayer Time With Perry

Now scientists tell us a solar storm is brewing that could wreak havoc on the earth’s communications systems, possibly even muzzling the media jackals at Fox who have doubted my conservative qualifications. As governor of a state where several Texas counties spontaneously burst into flames every other week, I’m on the front lines of this solar crisis. And I plan to do something about it. First, we need to get grounded.  Sure, morally and ethically. But I mean literally grounded. Everyone should have some kind of ground wire connected to the soil, a rock, a rubber tennis shoe, your neighbor. Also, take your cell phone out of your pants pocket and put it in your briefcase, safely away from your more sensitive genital areas. I’m distributing a pamphlet explaining how every family can use the laser sight on their handgun to kindle an emergency fire in case of total electronic collapse. We’ll make it through if we hang together and keep believing.