James Dobson Dares to Novelize

Dobson's Dystopia
James Dobson, chairman emeritus of Focus on the Family, has roused himself from semi-retirement to announce he’ll try his hand at fiction. Dobson, already a prolific author of counseling and spiritual books, plans to write a science fiction trilogy– Fatherless, Childless and Godless— all set in a dystopian future world.

Dobson said it’s the logical next step in his effort to support meaningful family life in all its dimensions.

“I felt like that other Christian author of a sci-fi trilogy, C. S. Lewis, just didn’t put enough focus on the family into his books,” Dobson said. “Lewis talked a lot about an evil professor and those weird, adorable creatures on Mars. But where are the life lessons about discipline, ethics and the practical effects of an afternoon nap and sensible shoes? I plan to rectify all that in my trilogy.”

If the novels are successful, Dobson said he’ll follow them up with another: Clueless.

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In the Stocks This Week: Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson is in the stocks this week for genuflecting to Tim Tebow instead of Christ. Pat ranted about being “disgusted” by the Saturday Night Live skit in which Jesus suggests Tim Tebow should “take it down a notch.”
In The StockaPat’s just jealous that SNL hasn’t done a good skit about him since 1988.
In that piece about the Republican Presidential Debate, Bob Dole (Dan Aykroyd) tells Robertson (Al Franken) “You know, and I know, that you’re an old Bible-thumping, revival show con artist from way back, who claims to heal people. I’ll tell you something, Pat Robertson – you turn to me and heal my right arm, and I’ll be glad to step aside and let you be President of the United States!”
Now that’s funny.

In The Stocks returns us to the era before mass media, when village miscreants were pilloried for public mocking and ridicule. 

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Cringe: The sci-fi TV series we’d like to see

The series begins by introducing theological theoretician Walter Brueggemann, who has just been released after having spent many years of confinement in a small fundamentalist seminary in Minnesota.

CringeHe assists The Cringe Division, a special unit that investigates unexplained, often ghastly, examples of faulty religious explanations of reality, ranging from transhumanist interpretations of ancient manuscripts, to Jesus Seminar heuristics, to religious experiments in postmodern community gone wrong, to the prospect of a destructive theological “singularity,” to the possible collision of two parallel world views.

When something activates the team’s “cringe factor” they leap into action to investigate the causes.

The team discovers Walter has a “Walternate” who, in the parallel reality, is a televangelist and part-time Shopping Channel host.

Fringe glyphsThe “Walternate” has sent shapeshifting minions– nameless, faceless, easily replaceable beings who have little or no personality– to join various religious and spiritual groups in an attempt to mislead the Cringe Team while the real threat is secretly being developed: opening a “bridge” between the dimensions that will destroy both worlds and replace them with the fantasy world generated by our own collective bogus doctrines, ignorance and wishful thinking.

Next Week: Olivia suspects she gained her psionic powers as a child by ingesting leftovers at one of those “Coke and Oreos” folk communion services that were hip in the ’60s.

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Rick Perry Devotional: Who will be my Aaron?

Editor’s Note: Gov. Perry is our guest devotional writer.
(Focal Passage: Exodus 6:30– “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips, and how shall Pharaoh hearken unto me?”)

Prayer Time With Perry

Prayer Time With Perry

Well, switch off the lights, the party has just about terminated, to quote Dandy Don Merideth. At least that’s what everybody’s sayin’ about my campaign. But that’s what they said about Gingrich too, and look what happened to him.

It’s these debates that do me in. Even Moses, one of the greatest leaders in biblical history,  had a hard time speaking. He had to have Aaron interpret for him. I’ve asked for a simpler multiple-choice debate format, but I was turned down. The “anti-endorsement” from the conservative National Review magazine hasn’t helped me either. They said I’m  “persistently unable to bring gravity to the national stage.” Now hold on! It was evolution and climate change I had questions about. I’m fine with gravity– a theory proven hundreds of years ago by Leonardo Da Vinci. They need a fact checker over there.

Keep praying. There’s still light at the bottom of the well, God willing.

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The Jesus Toaster stocking stuffer

This has been around since last year, but… if you’re stumped about what to get that special someone for Christmas, you could do no better than The Jesus Toaster. It’a gonna be hard to smear Smart Balance all over the Savior’s face, though.

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