Newt Gingrich Devotional: I Am Not Second

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Skippy R

Editor’s Note: Newt Gingrich is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: Luke 9: 51— “And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he steadfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem.”

Newt Gingrich DevotionalYou can slice and dice the Florida Republican Primary returns any way you like. You can compare the white suburban evangelical vote to the urban Latino turnout. You can go count up all the alligators in the Everglades if you care to. You can add it all up, double it and then divide by two. But in every single category that matters, except the actual vote tally, it was Newt Gingrich who came out the winner, not Mitt Romney.

There are “Lies, damned lies, and statistics” as the adage goes, and the media jackals want you to imagine the absurdity that I lost the primary. I’ve said I’m in it to win it, and I haven’t changed my motto. They need to step back, take a breath and see the big picture.

It reminds me of Our Lord, who set his face like flint to go to Jerusalem, knowing full well what dangers awaited him there. Tampa, the site of the Republican Convention, is at least as terrifying as that ancient nest of Pharisaical vipers. But the people are with me. Whole bunches of people. Scores of people.

Hopefully they’ll stick with me, unlike the disciples of Jesus. Together we have a chance. Worst case scenario– we all get crucified together.

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Newt Gingrich Devotional: Matthew a government insider?

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Skippy R

Editor’s Note: Newt Gingrich is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: Matthew 9:9  “And as Jesus passed forth from thence, he saw a man, named Matthew, sitting at the receipt of custom: and he saith unto him, Follow me. And he arose, and followed him.”

Newt Gingrich DevotionalI’ll tell you my thesis up front– Matthew was no more an Appian Way insider than I’m a Mexican immigrant. Frankly, it’s preposterous that Our Lord would call such a man as his disciple. An agent of big government, in favor of raising taxes? God forbid! The text merely states Matthew was “sitting at the receipt of custom.” No doubt he was in line to complain about government bureaucracy and red tape.

Admittedly, he’s described as a “publican” –those who in antiquity were public contractors to oversee certain duties for the Romans. This is all very similar to accusations made against me about being a “lobbyist,” when in reality I was merely offering historical advice and counseling.

From one ‘Publican to another, I feel for the Apostle and the burden he’s had to bear, chased by the media jackals through unending seasons of time. I’ll grant you that, at worst, Matthew may have been a CPA, but nothing more.

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Newt Gingrich Devotional: The Gospel & My Big Ideas

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Skippy R

Editor’s Note: Gov. Rick Perry has resigned as our devotional writer to “spend more time with his family.” Newt Gingrich has graciously agreed to take his place.

Biblical exegesis isn’t limited to the status quo or to the narrow scope set by some entrenched academic bureaucrats. Exegesis is all about big ideas, some of which I plan to share with you in this series.

Newt Gingrich DevotionalMy qualifications are well known. Raised a Baptist, I’ve sat through many a hellfire and damnation sermon as a child, with no ill effects. Actually, with no effect at all. As a confirmed Catholic since 2009, I’ve become familiar with many Latin phrases and the varied liturgical nuances of the mass. I see myself as a bridge between the dinner-on-the-grounds fried chicken eaters and the fish-on-Friday crowd. In fact, I will sit down at any time and dig in to a plate of either delicious fare. Indulging myself, I’ve found, can be a sacred act.

With this background, I’ve looked again at the Bible and its message, and found that it agrees in so many instances with my own big ideas. Not to billboard, but please look for my first lesson in coming days: “Was Matthew really a Roman government insider?”

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Rick Perry Devotional: God’s really smart. I’m not.

Posted on January 19, 2012 by Skippy R

Editor’s Note: This is Gov. Perry’s last column for BlindFolly. He’s been our guest devotional writer since August. We’ll be choosing another writer soon.

Focal Passage: Ezekiel 7:6 — “An end is come, the end is come: it watcheth for thee; behold, it is come.”

Prayer Time With Perry

Prayer Time With Perry

Scholars say this passage in the Hebrew contains a paronomasia— a play on words or something. But I really don’t feel “paranomasioid” like anyone’s out to get me, honest. It was my own fault that I’m out of the primary race. Remember “Oops?” Ha ha.

Anyway, like I told the folks at the Response Prayer Rally  this week, “God’s agenda’s not a political agenda. He’s smarter than that. He’s smart enough, wise enough not to get involved with any political affiliation or any institution that man has made.”

Well, I guess God’s smarter than me, huh? Now I’m throwin’ my support to Newt and goin’ back to Texas, where I’m actually still governor. (Don’t worry about me– I’ll find something to do).

I will, however, be dropping this devotional column. It’s no longer politically expedient. Thanks for faithfully following my spiritual journey along the campaign trail. I still have a little bit of money in my campaign fund to spend, so I’ll probably rest up in Hawaii first.

Goodbye everybody, and, as we say in Texas, “‘Don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.”

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Rick Perry Devotional: Just can’t hold it

Posted on January 16, 2012 by Skippy R

Editor’s Note: Gov. Perry is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: I Kings 14:10 — “I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall.”

The Obama administration’s criticism of the controversial video showing Marines urinating on the bodies of dead Taliban fighters is simply over the top. After all, it’s something we all do when nature calls. Even liberals.

Prayer Time With Perry

Prayer Time With Perry

From the scripture above, it’s apparent the Bible doesn’t want us to relieve ourselves anywhere except in official, designated urinals.  But when you gotta go, you gotta go. They’re in the middle of a desert out there. These are young 18- and 19-year-olds and they’re gonna make a lot of mistakes.  Meaning of course that they should have relieved themselves before they left on their sniper mission, sure.”

It’s really a logistical mistake. The Obama administration has not provided adequate bathroom facilities for the troops in the Afghan theater of war. Big government red tape requires dozens of port-a-potties for one of our Tea Party gatherings of only a few hundred people.  Shouldn’t they have thought about this with 100,000 troops in Afghanistan? Darn right!

The Bible says it,  I believe it, and that settles it!

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