Mitt Romney Devotional: Democrat dissimulation

[Hello, Americans. Since I need to cover all the bases in order to bring America back to it’s traditional heritage and destiny, I decided to start this little blog post to influence those of you who use the Twitter and Facebook, the smartphones, etc. Each post will include my devotional for the day, relating to issues I’m currently facing. I covet your prayers for myself, my family and for America. Thank you.]

Focal Scripture Passage: 2 Nephi 9:34 — “Woe unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell.”

Mitt Romney DevotionalThat son of perdition, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, said a very bad thing about me the other day:

“He didn’t pay taxes for 10 years!” he crowed. But then he added, “Now, do I know that’s true? Well, I’m not certain.”

Well I’M certain that when you say something that you’re not certain is true, then it’s a lie. It’s smear tactics, McCarthyism and a symptom of all the Obamalarkey that’s been growing in this country for four years.

Of course, we Mormons have been victims of religious discrimination before, so we know how to bear up under adversity. But if we’re run out of town forcibly, we DO shoot back. Best remember that, Harry.

On a lighter note, I hope everyone was rooting for my wife, Ann, at the London Olympics this week. Her horse finished 28th out of 32 horses at the Olympic team equestrian dressage competition. Yeah, I know — that’s the breaks. But I actually think that anywhere else she might have had a better chance. As I said in my book No Apology, “England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy.” So — not really the best atmosphere for achieving excellence! Anyway, I know she’ll be rewarded– if not in this world, in the next as a ministering angel in the glory of the Celestial Kingdom.

Next Week: Seven minutes of terror– The search for a vice-presidential nominee.

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Newt Gingrich Devotional: Am I pretty?

Editor’s Note: Newt Gingrich is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: 2 Samuel 14:25– “But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.”

Newt Gingrich DevotionalBeauty is only skin deep, and the Bible tells us that women especially should value their own inward beauty by nurturing gentle and quiet spirits. That’s why the new teen trend of posting “Am I Pretty?” videos on youtube is such a heartbreaking commentary on the kind of society created by Obama liberals and some rich fake-conservative Republican moderates.

Children are our future. To show solidarity with these troubled and fragile teens, I’m posting my own video and I hope all of you will join me:

“Hi I’m 68 and my name is Newt and I need y’all to tell me the truth. Am I pretty or ugly? Im only making this video because loads of people do it and im bored. Remember, my political career may hinge on your answer.”

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Newt Gingrich Devotional: Nauseous words

Editor’s Note: Newt Gingrich is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: Isaiah 29:21– “…That make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate…”

Rick Santorum’s reaction to John F. Kennedy’s 1960 speech about separation of church and state– he said it made him want to “throw up”— has received ample media coverage.

Newt Gingrich DevotionalPoor decision on his part– nobody wants to turn on the news and have to think about vomit as they sit down to dinner. And I’ve already said I disagree with him.

But more importantly, I disagree with those liberal commentators who insist on describing his response with the word “nauseous.”  Rick Santorum was not “nauseous.” (Although, for many like myself, listening to him can be a nauseating experience). Rick Santorum was “nauseated” by the concept of church-state separation. These are two very different words. Separation of church and state is “nauseous” to Rick Santorum, resulting in a “nauseated” condition in his delicate tummy. See the difference?

In a similar way, liberals say “bailout” when they mean “communism,”  “politically correct” when they mean “cowardly”  and “poverty programs” when they mean “government tyranny.”

The scripture says we should not accuse anyone “for a word.” Perhaps the Lord is that gracious, but the political world is a cold and unforgiving place, so I must object.  Without distinct and sharply delineated speech, my own thinking might ooze out around the edges into a puddle and leave me floundering in a suffocating pink pillow fight instead of engaging in powerful political debate, hurling well aimed thunderbolts of logic and REASON from my own personal MT. OLYMPUS!!

Next week:  The importance of humility.

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Newt Gingrich Devotional: An embarrassing confession

Editor’s Note: Newt Gingrich is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: James 1:19— “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak…”

Earlier today I had the following conversation with a member of my “dream team,” Chuck Norris, the actor and karate expert. In a spirit of confession I want to share it with you. I must admit, I’m very ashamed of the way I handled this.
………………

Newt Gingrich DevotionalNewt: Chuck, I’ve called you here because of your longtime loyalty to conservative causes, because you still possess a waning celebrity and most importantly, because of your potent martial arts skills.

Chuck: Yes, sensei.

Newt: As you know, we have been surrounded by liberals and even some conservative friends who seek to harm our cause, to thwart our efforts to inject big ideas into the political arena.

Chuck: Yes, sensei.

Newt: They can question my conservative credentials all day long, but they can never question my determination to win at all costs. Do you understand?

Chuck: Yes, sensei.

Newt: I’m a winner, Chuck. You’re on a winning team. Not a second-best kind of team. And that’s why I have an assignment for you.

Chuck: Yes, sensei.

Chuck NorrisNewt: I want you to seek out all my enemies– both personal and political, foreign and domestic–and destroy them, no matter what it takes. Of course,  I cannot personally order you to break laws, or use threats, violence and even bloodshed to accomplish your task. You will have to decide those particular  methods by reaching deep into your inner Walker Texas Ranger, or better yet go back to some of the fancy moves you used against Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon.

Chuck: Yes, sensei.

Newt: I CAN tell you, though, that I have removed the photos and plaques from my office wall, and I have prepared a place to display each of their scalps. Do you get my meaning, Chuck?

Chuck: Yes, sensei.

Newt: Fly then, little bird. I will see you again in the halls of victory and triumph.

Chuck: Yes, sensei.
………

As I reviewed this conversation, one thing jumped out — I’m a terrible listener! Did you notice it was mostly just me babbling on? That was a monologue, not a dialogue.  I opened up no space for Chuck to give his point of view, or discuss what might be on his mind. This is something my second wife was always harping on me about, and I guess I just never learned. But now I vow to nurture a listening ear,  allow for collaborative problem-solving and put this in my leadership-skills quiver.

Spiritual bottom line: We know that Jesus is always a good listener. He’s attentive to our every need. Lord, make us all good listeners today. Amen.

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Newt Gingrich Devotional: Focus on Fickle Followers

Editors Note: Newt Gingrich is our guest devotional writer.

Focal Passage: Philippians 2:20,21–“For I have no man likeminded… For all seek their own…”

Newt Gingrich DevotionalAs Callista and I sat in uncomfortable metal folding chairs at our booth at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in Washington, D.C., this week, we put up a good front, smiling and waving as our former supporters passed us by to crowd around Rick Santorum, each one drooling like a manx high on catnip tea.  No one wanted me to sign my book for them. No one asked for an “Eye of the Newt 2012” bumper sticker.  Even that Judas, Donald Trump, got more media attention than I did.

D.C. is my town! But instead of the star, I’m a supernumerary in this comedic opera.

I could probably mud wrestle Joe the Plumber in the hotel lobby and no one would blink. I’m the single voice of moral clarity and political vision in this race, and suddenly I’m the INVISIBLE freakin’ MAN.

Then I recalled the words of Our Lord, “A prophet is without honor in his own country.” Did that make me feel any better? No, it did not.

Instead, I recalled another verse, which I have now made my personal “life verse”: Luke 9:54 — “And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did?”

I vote YES!  It’s ON, people!

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