We apologize in advance…

Posted on December 28, 2011 by Skippy R

We’d like to apologize in advance for all of Pat Robertson’s soon to be announced predictions for the year 2012:

 • Michelle Bachman will apparently NOT spontaneously combust during a Republican presidential debate in March 2012.

Pat Robertson • Deceased North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il will not suddenly reappear in an exclusive July interview with Rachel Maddow to declare, “The joke’s on you, Yankee imperialist running dogs! I got your axis of evil right here!”

 • A Regent University law school graduate will not be named to the Supreme Court by President Obama.

 • Gog and Magog will not meet in a Mixed Martial Arts title fight in November 2012.

 • Scientists will not prove that AIDS is spread by text message emoticons.

 • A breakthrough in the realm of subatomic physics will not prove that laying your hands on the TV screen can impart healing and riches.

 • Animals around the world will not begin to screech and cackle on Halloween 2012.

 • Archaeologists will not discover the frozen foot of Noah’s son Japheth in the area of Mt. Ararat.

 • A previously unknown paragraph in the U. S. Constitution will not be discovered in a dusty back room of the Library of Congress that forever prohibits women from voting.

 • Vladimir Putin will not detonate a flux compression generator bomb in the atmosphere, producing an electromagnetic pulse that knocks out all TV and radio communication, leaving only Robertson’s CBN network functioning to rally Americans for a counterattack.

About Skippy R

Skippy R is retired after toiling as a scribe for a large denominational newspaper in Texas for about 40 years. He's written for The Wittenburg Door and Beliefnet. He lives in Dallas with his wife, Mrs. Skippy, and leads a Bible study in his home. Mostly spends time running after his grandkids. He is -- what are they calling it now? -- a Jesus follower.
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