Obama ‘down under’ causes ruckus

President Obama’s trip to Australia caused an uproar among religious fundamentalists when he visited the town of Darwin. “The president’s presence there gives an official stamp of government approval to Charles Darwin and the teaching of his theory of evolution in public schools,” said James Bryce, director of the Creation Science and Natural Theology Commission in Cleveland, Ohio.  “On the other hand, we would also have a problem should the President visit Alice Springs. The use of a female place name suggests that a woman’s place isn’t in the home, but somewhere in the middle of the Outback.”
Instead, Bryce said, the President should visit Melbourne.
“It’s named after the Victorian-era prime minister of England and a fine fellow.  The first part of the city’s name is ‘Mel,’ with intimations of Mel Gibson, Australian director of Passion of the Christ. The second part is ‘Bourne,’ reflective of Jason Bourne, whose mistrust of the CIA and big government interference in people’s personal lives has been portrayed in novels and film.
“Finally, we would only suggest the President take care to avoid the flight path of Oceanic Flight 815 on his return to the USA.”