It was a weird, apocalyptic news day

I sensed we were all in trouble this morning when I passed a Dallas city bus that indicated it’s destination was LR Hubbard Transit Station.

“Wait, there’s a transit station in Dallas named for L. Ron Hubbard, the notorious founder of Scientology?” Once at the office, I rushed to my desk and typed in the offending location. Hmm. It seems the bus was headed to Lake Ray Hubbard on the east side of town. It had nothing to do with Scientology  . . . at all.

My mind was reeling.  And it was all downhill from there. Soon strange news bulletins began arriving on my desktop with numbing regularity:

 • GOP politician skinny dipped in Sea of Galilee

Now there’s a headline you hardly ever see. Oh, to walk where Jesus walked, and to knock back a few drinks and skinny dip where our Savior walked on water– this has always been a dream of pilgrims throughout the ages. I imagine Rep. Kevin Yoder of Kansas will mea culpa his way through eternity for this one.

• White Buffalo, Sacred to Lakota Sioux, Was Not Slaughtered

According to legend, the birth of a white buffalo could mean the coming together of humanity into a oneness of heart, mind and spirit. Not so much this time. Apparently the owner immediately blamed a rival tribe, accusing them of killing the messianic buffalo and then skinning it.   After an investigation, the local sheriff determined it was felled by a common disease. Thus the world must continue in its broken state, where horrible tragedies keep happening (see next headline).

 • ‘Baywatch’ Star Abandons Search for Noah’s Ark Fearing Abduction

We’ve covered Donna D’Errico’s adventures here before.   But, let’s be honest– was she being too kind by describing herself as a “celebrity of minor notoriety?”  We recommend she dip seven times in the Sea of Galilee to heal her cuts and bruises . . .  but fully clothed, of course.

 • Steve Jobs reincarnated as half divine being, half Yak demon, according to Thai Buddhist sect
This, of course, is a surprise to no one. What’s surprising is that, with so much media coverage of Apple, we’re only hearing about it now.