Rick Perry Devotional: A Flare-up of Doom

Editor’s Note: Gov. Perry is our guest devotional writer.
These are grave times. Possibly even the End Times (See  Rev. 16:18– “And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings; and there was a great earthquake, such
as was not since men were upon the earth”).

Prayer Time With Perry

Now scientists tell us a solar storm is brewing that could wreak havoc on the earth’s communications systems, possibly even muzzling the media jackals at Fox who have doubted my conservative qualifications. As governor of a state where several Texas counties spontaneously burst into flames every other week, I’m on the front lines of this solar crisis. And I plan to do something about it. First, we need to get grounded.  Sure, morally and ethically. But I mean literally grounded. Everyone should have some kind of ground wire connected to the soil, a rock, a rubber tennis shoe, your neighbor. Also, take your cell phone out of your pants pocket and put it in your briefcase, safely away from your more sensitive genital areas. I’m distributing a pamphlet explaining how every family can use the laser sight on their handgun to kindle an emergency fire in case of total electronic collapse. We’ll make it through if we hang together and keep believing.